Issue #7: Gian's Reflections on Iron Man 3 (2013)

Iron Man 3

7/12/20

 

“Am I going to be ok?” Pepper Potts asks Tony Stark near the end of Iron Man 3 (2013). “No,” replies Tony. “You’re in a relationship with me. You’re never gonna be ok.”

 

I have to admit, I really disliked Iron Man 3 when I first saw it. I didn’t like what they did to the Mandarin and I didn’t like Tony blowing up his armor. But now, watching it again several years later, I think I finally can see why my friend Sandy loves this film so much and how I misread it. In my earlier blog entries, I’ve talked about Tony’s search for redemption. This film, though, shifts the focus from Tony on his own to Tony in his relationship with Pepper. The relationship was there before, but here it defines Tony. This film is not just about Tony figuring out how to be a good person, it’s also about Tony figuring out how to be a good partner with Pepper.

 

Ironically, by the time of Iron Man 3 Tony has learned to be a better person. In Avengers he risked his own life to close the worm hole the Chitauri were using to launch their invasion of earth. He wasn’t motivated by ego, he was motivated to save New York City and the rest of earth’s people. But that selfless act has left Tony suffering with PTSD. He becomes obsessed with working and making new Iron Man suits. He works day after day around the clock. When he becomes so obsessed with working that he can’t stop to greet Pepper after her day at work, he sends an empty Iron Man suit to the living room to pretend he’s there. Pepper isn’t fooled, and so she walks down to his laboratory and confronts Tony. Then he admits, 

 

Tony: “I love you. I’m lucky. But, honey, I can’t sleep. You go to bed. I come down here. I do what I know. I tinker. Threat is imminent and I have to protect the one thing I can’t live without. That’s you. And my suits, they’re unh,”

 

Pepper: “Machines.”

 

Tony: “They’re part of me.

 

Pepper: “A distraction.”

 

Tony: “Maybe.”

 

This is Tony opening up. And it’s a crucial scene. Pepper’s anger vanishes when she realizes the truth. She puts her arms around Tony. Yet it’s only a moment and we know he hasn’t let her in far enough. Pepper is essential to Tony. He always rushes to save her. But he still sees her as apart from him. His work, his Iron Man suits, those he sees as parts of himself, essential. But he has not brought Pepper all the way in. He didn’t turn to her first for help. He couldn’t admit he needed her. He knows he’s troubled from the alien invasion, he knows he’s on the verge of freaking out. Yet he can’t ask his lover for help. He’s in a relationship with Pepper, but he isn’t trying to build and improve that relationship the way he does with his suits. He doesn’t turn to Pepper when he needs help the most. He’s good with machines, not with people. It’s the people he has to learn to deal with.

 

The film handles this in various ways. Tony continues to not want to touch things. He has a phobia where he’s afraid to have people hand him anything. It seems odd in the films, but, in the coronavirus era, it doesn’t seem so crazy.

 

We also get Tony’s challenge of trying to buy Pepper the right Christmas gift. Here he fails spectacularly, buying her a gigantic stuffed bunny that no one would ever want. Tony thinks bigger is better, but Pepper doesn’t want an external gift. She wants Tony to prove he loves her, that he wants her to be at the center of his life. Although the bunny gift is funny in its absurdity, showing that Tony is still far too self-absorbed to be able to imagine the kind of gift Pepper might really want, is inability to open up to her about his problems is far more significant.

 

So Iron Man 3 director Shane Black brings in another character, a kid (as he is mostly referred to) named Harley Keener (played by Ty Simpkins), to help Tony learn some more about actually connecting with people. Tony meets Harley when his suit runs out of power and crashes in Tennessee. The suit has actually guided him to a site he was investigating to figure out the Mandarin’s plot. Tony has several nice scenes with the kid. When I first saw it, I thought Marvel was just trying to be cute to get a few laughs. But it’s clearly more important than that.

 

At one point, the kid tells Tony that his dad left. Tony, who has anger issues with his own father, replies cruelly, “Which happens, Dad’s leave. No need to be a pussy about it.” Unable to actually connect meaningfully, Tony resorts to black humor. It doesn’t work when dealing with a child of course. But the kid helps save Tony during a fight, and eventually Tony admits, “You did good, kid.” Tony still mocks the idea that he and the kid are connected and that he needs the kid, but of course he does.

 

I think the first time what bothered me the most about the movie was that they kept taking Tony out of the suit. I wanted to see Iron Man, not just Robert Downey, Jr. I was dismissive at the time thinking it was just an actor wanting more screen time. But like Tony, I'll try to grow from my mistakes and admit that I needed the help of my good friend Sandy to see what Iron Man 3 was really trying to show us: Tony had to get out of his suit. The truth is, Tony was hiding in the Iron Man armor. He wasn’t just afraid of the Chitauri, he was afraid of being human, of connecting with Harley or Pepper. Being Iron Man was easy, but being Tony Stark was hard. In the end Tony figured out that the suits weren’t really him, and so he blew them up (another thing I hated!!!). But as precious as the suits are, they are only machines as Pepper points out. Tony had to let them go so he could really move toward Pepper and the family he was meant to have with her. And, of course, we know he can always build another suit of armor.